Couples reveal they’re poles apart
Most couples hate talking about money and find it a hard subject to discuss. However, while it may not seem like the most romantic topic, if you don’t talk about what you each want from your finances and how to manage your money, it’s likely to result in more friction and arguments.
Talking about finances with your loved ones often leads to heated words. In fact, according to research[1] money is the most common cause of arguments between couples, with 62% of those who argue with their partner disagreeing over money. Couples find it easier talking about childcare, sex or even household chores than money.
Most
friction
Couples
quarrel
about
most
aspects
of their
finances,
from how
much
they
earn to
their
levels
of debt,
but it’s
what
their
other
half
spends
that
causes
the most
friction.
There
are also
fundamental
differences
when it
comes to
expectations
of each
other
and how
they
view
their
partner’s
behaviour.
A third
(33%) of
couples
confess
not
seeing
eye to
eye,
admitting
that
when it
comes to
spending
and
saving,
they’re
simply
incompatible.
Attitudes towards money also stir up strong emotions, with couples taking a dim view of their other half. One in four (24%) couples consider their partner irresponsible with money. A fifth (20%) of people who don’t think their partner is responsible with money keep a secret savings pot.
Some
compromise
And
when it
comes to
managing
money
jointly,
three
quarters
of
couples
(76%)
decide
to keep
some or
all
their
banking
separate
from
their
partner.
Around a
third
(35%)
keep all
their
money in
separate
accounts,
while
just 24%
of
couples
hold
everything
in a
joint
account.
Because we don’t tend to talk about money, one partner can assume that their way of managing their money is the ‘right’ way, and not understand why the other doesn’t take the same view. So, the key to a more harmonious relationship is to talk about your finances and agree a way that works for both of you, even if it involves some compromise.
Better
control
It’s
also
important
not to
let
financial
concerns
simmer
beneath
the
surface.
Being
more
open
with one
another
about
money
and
financial
goals
will
also
help
couples
to build
a
financially
secure
future.
Facing
uncomfortable
conversations
can help
ensure a
better
relationship
with
money
and each
other.
Set time aside to talk about your finances properly, as it may help both of you gain better control of your spending. It may feel a bit odd at first, but it should reduce stress and friction in the long term. Set some short-term goals (money in a savings account so you can pay for any emergencies), but don’t ignore long-term goals as well (paying off your mortgage, when you want to retire, etc).
Household
bills
Agree
how you
will
split
household
bills.
This is
particularly
important
if one
of you
earns
more
than the
other.
Some
people
automatically
assume
it will
be
50:50,
no
matter
how big
the pay
gap, so
it’s
worth
clarifying
before
the
bills
mount
up.
Be open about any debts you have, especially if you have a joint bank account or joint loans. As soon as you take out a joint loan, mortgage or current account with an overdraft facility, your credit rating will affect your partner’s and vice versa – even if you’re applying for credit in one name only.
Manage
money
So,
if
you’re
hiding
debt
from
your
partner,
not only
could it
affect
your
relationship,
but it
could
also
affect
your
ability
to get a
mortgage,
car
finance
or even
a
pay-monthly
phone
contract.
It may
be a
hard
conversation
to
start,
but
tackling
these
issues
together
might
also
take a
weight
off your
mind.
Decide how you’d like to manage your money. In relationships, tasks can sometimes be divided without couples realising. You don’t necessarily have to make every single decision together – although you can if that suits you – but make sure you’re both involved.
More
transparency
Decide
whether
you want
to keep
your
money
separate
or pool
it in
joint
accounts.
There
are pros
and cons
to each
approach.
If you
have a
joint
account
there’s
more
transparency
about
your
finances,
but the
bank can
pursue
either
of you
for the
full
amount
of any
debt or
overdraft,
regardless
of who
ran up
the debt
or used
the
overdraft.
Keep talking. Your circumstances may change or you may feel like you want different things from your finances – and your life. So, keep talking about money and try to address any issues early on, before they become big problems.
Source
data:
[1]
Royal
London
commissioned
a
survey
by
Opinium
between
21–25
January
2022
with
a
sample
of
2,000
nationally
representative
UK
adults
(1,351
in a
relationship).
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